I'm Down With O.P.P. (Other People's Paleo)

In a strange twist of fate, the journey back to the hometown was an interesting reflection of what has changed since we left.

Both of us, for example.

While I didn't magically get skinny, I am slimmer than I was- with a lot less effort. Even being bludgeoned by hormones and a little puffy, I am way ahead of where I used to be. I never in a million years thought I would ever get a compliment on my skin, and now I get them all the time. I put the scale away for the duration of my current medical stuff: back in the day, this would be a recipe for disaster and I would just keep gaining, unchecked.

SG has recently dropped quite a bit of weight, as he has gotten more serious about cutting out grains, period. The shorts that he's had for years are falling off him without a belt. Just today, I noticed he was wearing a sweater I bought him for Christmas- a sweater that he previously admitted he didn't like to wear because of its tendency to hug around the belly region. It now doesn't have very much left to hug. He also commented that (of all things) he thinks his fingernails are thicker. But the thing he is most impressed with is the demise of his seasonal allergies. Snoring has been cut in half, and the constant sneezing and nose blowing and swollen, teary, puffy eyes haven't made their appearance in months- and this is the worst time of the year for it.

So of course, going home- there are lots of good friends who aren't happy with their weight. They have skin problems, stomach problems, allergies that make them miserable. My dad has a sinus infection, which he blames on "cotton defoliants".  I used to use that excuse too.

This is where I also say that Practical Paleo should be paying me commission! I am so humbled and touched by how many of my buddies have bought the book. Believe me when I say, I am thrilled that you had the faith in me to buy it and read it- I honestly believe in what I am doing, and it's my desire to help others the way I have been helped that prompted me to start blogging on the regular (for me). Chucking out half your pantry and changing everything can come later. Some of you have, and some of you haven't, and that is cool with me.

There are some hardcore people out there- people who get out the Paleo Taser for any kind of dairy product, for any kind of starchy tuber. I am not one of those people. I made those changes on my own- and with more of a Primal outlook towards things. I believe that different people need different nutrients. I believe that a 100% Dorito diet would make 99% of people sick 99% of the time. Some people have no problem with tubers or dairy, and to find out if that person is you, then you have to decide what your goals are, and then you have to fiddle.

For some people, I am sure the answer is a lot more cut and dried than it is for me. I've watched my hubby do a version of Paleo that is a lot less strict than the way I eat. He loses weight- I maintain. We are all different, and it really is all about deciding what works for you.  

The reason I say this- it is SO hard to see people struggling- particularly when you have been there, and if you (like me) are still at a point when wearing an "I heart bacon" t-shirt may draw snarky comments from passers-by. The yardstick we measure health by in this country is the ability to maintain a "healthy" weight.  So I have always hesitated. I mean, what do I know? Just that I feel like a completely different person, but that doesn't necessarily prove anything.

But now, I have SG. And he is over the moon about how much better he looks and feels- and he wants to tell the world, and has developed quite the evangelical fervor.

Now, at the bottom of this- what woman doesn't want her husband to repeatedly trumpet that her crazy "hippie" ideas were right all along? That he feels amazing, and everyone should do this? Yeah, OK, you got me. I am thrilled that he feels this way, particularly after watching him sheepishly empty the bread basket all by himself for my first year of Primal eating. I never thought we'd get here!

But now, I am out there. Flying under the radar is no longer possible, and I have to open myself up to some conflict, because while my husband is an enthusiastic convert, when it comes to anything sciencey, he's not the one who did the legwork, read the blogs and the books, does the shopping, and cooks the meals. That would be me. So he basically opens the can of worms, and then I need to get all the worms lined up in some kind of sane and well-adjusted manner, and maybe make them do the Macarena.

Which leads me to having uncomfortable conversations about gluten at Macaroni Grill after 1/2 our party of four has ordered the pasta alfredo bowl.  I try to be careful. The changes I am talking about are minor to me, but represent Enormous Life Changes to most people. Food is an intensely personal choice. I freely admit that I initially went cold turkey off grains, then gradually tapered off sugar, then most dairy, over a period of years.  If someone has already had to eradicate stuff, because they are sensitive to nightshades (yes T. I am looking at you!) I totally understand why they wouldn't want to limit themselves further. It's something you have to be ready to do, and I get it, and appreciate that you're thinking about it. At the other end of the spectrum are people rating FastPaleo's app at one star because some of the recipes (maybe 1%?) contain white potatoes. Or acting like consuming butter will get your Caveman Card revoked.

My Paleo: I err on the side of Primal. The most sustainable meats I can afford. Omega 3 enriched, cage free organic eggs from Trader Joe's. Nuts as a garnish. Organic, seasonally appropriate fruits and veggies. Sweet potatoes, and I admit, white potatoes- once I figured out that cutting out tubers did nothing for me weight-wise, why not? Dark chocolate. Stevia in my tea. Approved Paleo sweeteners in moderation (special occasion desserts).  And yes, dairy: cheese and butter- I have no reaction to these. Greek Yogurt once in a blue moon- it makes my throat a little tingly, but I love it.

What's YOUR Paleo?

And I say to myself, "Well? How did I get here?"

I was out of town last week, and am juggling getting my schedule back together and a whole bunch of medical stuff (but that's the other blog!) this week. Please forgive my hiatus. I swear, it is all I can do to stay on track and keep cooking.

In the meantime, here are the highlights:

As I am not really "allowed" to run or lift weights, SG and I decided I should get a bike. Here's "Hedwig". I love her! We have already gone on a few jaunts together- the last of which involved picking up my meat and produce order from Tara Firma Farms.


I have been slowly going through Practical Paleo, and actually took it to the coast with me. I love it even more than I did at first, if that's possible.


 I have been cooking up a storm. I can't say I was responsible for the chickens (just the veggie sides), but they were the work of my baby bro- I admit they were delicious. My family is asking more questions, and my sis was flipping through Practical Paleo: I have to admit, I am excited about that.

I am actually getting more and more into cooking, and am getting dangerous in kitchen stores. This is probably the place to admit that both SG and I have a "favorite spatula". Since we keep fighting over it, we decided to get some spares.

Since I am not drinking coffee right now, and I noticed how much SG enjoyed using the one at my parents' place, we broke down and got him a Keurig. I sent a vinegar and a rinse cycle through our trusty Cuisinart 8 cup model, and put it into storage where my breadmaker used to live. 

Gadgetry is taking over. I just bought a deep-fryer (filled with coconut oil of course!) and deep-fried something for the first time last night. It seems to be less greasy- and less messy! Than pan frying, and I was super-impressed with the results: I guess I am a convert. We are also talking about biting the bullet and splurging on a Vitamix. Everyone I know who has one loves it, and I would rather get one appliance than getting a juicer and upgrading my tiny Cuisinart.

Oh! I finally tried Kombucha. And liked it! I am even considering *gasp* MAKING MY OWN. Who knows what's next?! Maybe I will get brave enough to deal with the offal in my freezer this week.

Unwinding

What an amazing weekend!

SG and I have not been away on our own together just to relax in...well, let me think. Probably since our trip to Italy in the summer of 2010. And I am not going to knock that, but time spent running errands of visiting family or celebrating holidays is just not the same as time spent- just being, and enjoying each others company.

We usually have the dogs to worry about as well- while they are good travelers, it is stressful to stay with family, because well, they are dogs. Putting them in a kennel up here runs about $200 plus for a weekend, which is pricey! We eventually decided to try entrusting the neighbor's kid with our house keys, and while the doggies were evidently upset initially, there was no destruction or suspicious staining when we got back. And judging by the amount left in the bag of grain-free doggie biscuits, they got pretty spoiled in our absence!

We went all over the place: As soon as we got out of the gloomy Bay and the sun came out, the top came down on the convertible, and it was like that scene in The Wizard of Oz where everything turns to color. Zooming towards the Central Coast playing 80's music was an amazing feeling of freedom- something I don't think either of us have felt in a long time.

When we got to Carmel, we caught up with my parents- they had plans all weekend, so we only checked in with them at intervals. We made our dinner reservations well in advance, and meandered down to a great Greek restaurant, Dametra Cafe on Ocean Ave. for lunch. We just spent the whole afternoon walking around, and headed down to the beach in time to do a circuit before the tide came rolling in. SG took tons of pictures, and I took the opportunity to do my best Karate Kid impersonation on a stump.

By the time we made it back up the hill, it was time to get cleaned up for dinner. Bistro Giovanni is within walking distance. it's not super-fancy, but the food is amazing. We spent a few hours talking and eating, tucked into our cozy corner.

We had a lot to talk about. Our lives are changing remarkably quickly. If all goes well, we will be moving and starting a family relatively soon. Everything is still in the planning stages, but things seem to be moving amazingly quickly. I feel so blessed and lucky. As long as we don't freak out, we will be fine!

After a leisurely jaunt home, we checked out some of the footage from the opening night of the Olympics.

The rest of the weekend was similarly relaxing- lots of eating at amazing places, and wandering around. We checked out Fisherman's Wharf, Cannery Row, and of course, the Monterey Bay Aquarium. SG is rediscovering his love of photography, and we got some amazing shots of the octopus and jellyfish.

Sunday, we packed up and hit the Gilroy Garlic Festival. Both SG and I had gone waaaay in the past- and I have to admit, we were disappointed with it this time around. It was hot, and sweaty, and crowded, and the food was pretty much not "easy" for us to eat. We ended up leaving pretty quickly, without trying any of the garlicky delicacies. The decision was to "salvage" the day by heading to the Gilroy Outlets, which was a pretty good decision. We'd actually discussed the things that we needed to round out our respective wardrobes, so I got a pair of black slide wedges, a silver peacock feather necklace, a black leather wristlet purse, a cute summer-weight denim jacket, and one impulse buy- a magenta cotton shrug. SG found a pullover and a deep forest green shirt- I was thrilled to see they have "tall" sizes at Eddie Bauer, because it is hard to find stuff that fits him otherwise! And he got two wallets at the leather place, which was long overdue.

So we got home in plenty of time- which is good, because I had two appointments today (more on that later). I admit, neither of us really wanted to come back, but it was wonderful to come home to a clean house, and two dogs who were very VERY glad to see us.

All in all, it was a seriously awesome 10th anniversary weekend, and I feel like my batteries are recharged for the first time in longer than I care to admit!

The Final Frontier

Oh, potatoes. Why must you be so comforting?
I enjoy you in all your myriad forms: Baked. Scalloped. Soup. Mashed. French fried, hash browned, roasted, toasted, you name it.

Sam Gamgee is evidently my spirit animal.

If you don't know who Sam Gamgee is....(impossible!) he is Frodo's lovable gardener and sidekick in Lord of the Rings.


He waxes rapturous in his musings of how great potatoes are. He is also (coincidentally? Probably not) the FAT hobbit. Oh Sam. Those potatoes are killing you!

Seriously, I have learned to avoid carb-phobia. First of all, it can get ridiculous, and second of all, it just doesn't work for me. (I guess the moral here is that if being ridiculous works, sign me up for it.) It also makes me feel like a self-righteous ass. "I don't eat grains! I don't eat processed foods! I avoid most conventional dairy! I only eat pastured meat! I don't even drink coffee anymore!"  I don't want to be one of those finger-shaking, holier than thou butt-munch people. I just want to be healthy. Seriously.
And potatoes are something that I have occasionally tried to avoid, but will occasionally indulge in. Admittedly- since I was a kid, this was my favorite way to eat. Good old "meat and potatoes".

When I travel, this becomes a problem. I think it's because a lot of the things served in restaurants that I can eat come with a side of potatoes. Sometimes they are mashed, and heaven knows what's in them. Baked potatoes are typically pretty much au naturale. But most options are typically fried. If I am being honest with myself, they are probably fried in canola oil, which makes them even worse. And then dredged in sugary ketchup. (Gah!) But if they are there-I will eat them. 

It finally comes down to this- how do I feel when I eat them? And the answer is that I feel- slow. Lethargic. Slightly headachey. No bueno.

So, I need to cut that out. The Ice Cream Agenda seems to have worked out well for me- and now I am going to have to cull out the potatoes.

  Inside, a voice is screaming, "No! No! Not the potatoes!!!!" Which is probably another sign I shouldn't be having them.



 Sorry Sam. You're still my favorite.

Weekend

I am off to enjoy some sun and relaxation this weekend- and am keeping busy, in an effort to quit obsessing. It will be nice to see good friends and family!

We are taking a truckload of things down to our storage, including the bread machine and toaster. They were wedding gifts, which is why I never got rid of them. And who knows?   Maybe I can turn the bread machine into a festive planter.

Issues! Get your issues right here!

No Thanks! I'm on a diet.

I've done a lot of thinking about this, especially lately. There have been many, many Paleo lady bloggers talking about this. I don't know if it's just the perfect storm, or what. But seriously. The unattainable (by most) feminine ideal has obviously been percolating through more than a few heads lately. And for good reason. 

I believe in health. Health is the reason I am careful about what I put into my body. Feeling like you're worth it shouldn't be a hurdle, but sometimes, it is.

I ran across a post at one of my favorite sites, The Hairpin, today. It isn't a "Paleo post", but the spirit is the same. Love your body. Respect and care for it. Give it what it needs, and it will give you what you need: a place for your mind to exist, and your soul to inhabit. There are as many different magical formulas for this as there are people in the universe. When I get into a weird obsessive rut, it helps me to realize that all I can do is my best, and worrying about the diameter of my upper arms is strictly a First World Problem. And if someone out there in my daily travels has an issue with it, well, it's their issue.

Of course, they might say something about it. That happens occasionally. These people tend to fall into three categories.

1. Men.
2. Small children.
3. The well-meaning.

So men. HI! You guys (in general) have had many things to say about my body (and the bodies of every other woman I know) over the years. Some of them were even positive, in a non-demeaning way. Thanks for that, and for using your words in complete sentences. However, points are automatically deducted if whatever you wanted to share was screamed from a moving vehicle or contained some kind of animal noise, or if you drooled. To those guys who called me Double Bubble in high school? I wonder if my wish that you would all die of chronic dysentery ever came true. Ahem.

If you're paying a compliment, sincerity counts. Saying that you're concerned about my health when you are actually concerned about what your friends will think about the size of my derriere? Yes, women have figured that one out. It's like that line about going to Hooters because they have the best chicken wings. But I digress.

A couple of personal examples. I used to love to go out dancing. Sadly, men who like to go out dancing (clarification- straight men) typically think that women at clubs are "on the market". So when someone at the bar offered me a drink, I declined politely. He asked me what my problem was, and I said, truthfully: "Sorry, I have a boyfriend, and I don't accept drinks from guys I don't know." Which is when he said to me, in what I presume was his most withering tone, "Fat Bitch!"

I was appalled, and angry. Normally, I would have just taken off.  But from somewhere inside me, a voice roared, "That's right! Fat Bitch who TURNED YOU DOWN." He was the one who ended up slinking off.   
 As someone who is typically tongue-tied and furious when I am confronted like that- it was a brief and shining moment, let me tell you!

On the other hand, I would say the most positive (and amusing) interaction I have ever had in this arena with a man I didn't know, happened on my trip to Morocco.

Now, if you have never been to Morocco, it is beautiful, exotic, and foreign. It is also like walking through a construction site in the 1970's. The verbal sexual harassment was constant, and completely unrelenting. I was stopped at a store in the souk, looking at heaven knows what. If I know myself, it was probably a purse. Two men: one older, and one younger, were standing nearby, and the young one (A modern hipster in skinny jeans and huge sunglasses) started in. "Hey Baby!" and on, and on. I am assuming the gentleman he was with was his father. He stood there in his long white robe, looked at his son disapprovingly for a minute, and held up a hand for silence. Then he turned to me, smiled, and said, "You have a beautiful nose, Mademoiselle." And looked at his gaping son as if to say, "There, THAT'S how it's done!" And with a regal wave, they walked away. And to this day, that remains the only compliment on my nose I have ever received. Originality (not to mention class) counts for a lot.

Young children: they are curious, and they have questions. They actually hear a lot of things, and see even more. They know their mommies are dieting. I've had them pat me experimentally, to see what I feel like. It's strange and humbling to have children ask you about your body. If there's anything that dredges up every body image issue you've ever had, that would be it.They ask me why I am fat, and I explain that everyone is different- some people are short, some people are bigger than other people- the world would be boring if we were all the same, right? (Luckily, I have never had one disagree!)

I've read them books about ice cream, only to have them raise their hands and say, "Ice cream makes you fat." It's happened so often, I have a canned response. "A little bit of ice cream is OK. That's why it's called a treat! But too much of ANYTHING probably isn't good for you. Has anyone here ever eaten too much of something? How did that make your body feel?" Little kids want to understand and discuss it. Which would occasionally get me into situations when five-year-olds would discuss my body dispassionately, right in front of me. Little girls arguing about the size of your ass is something everyone should have to remain poker-faced through, at least once.

Little Girl 1: "Lady Grok, your butt is big!"
Little Girl 2: (indignantly) "No it is not! Lady Grok's butt is just the right size for Lady Grok!"
Me: (holding back violent laughter) "Thank you, ladies."
Little Girl 2: "No, really! I saw a lady who had a really BIG bottom when I went with my mommy to get a pedicure! It was like...like this!!!!" And she held out her hands to each side, as far as they would go. And then continued, "If your bottom was like that, you would have to have a SPECIAL CHAIR." 

When girls get a little older, they have learned that it's not polite to ask. They also start to internalize the constant scrutiny around them. The result? Once upon a time, I had to try to reason with 8-9 year old girls in a class I was teaching. We were learning about internal organs, and traced the outlines of their bodies on butcher paper, so we could cut out paper organs and place them in the correct spots on the drawing. One girl traced her friend's outline a few inches bigger than she actually was- just to be obnoxious. Once I had refereed THAT, the same girl re-drew her own waist so it was actually too narrow for the child-sized organs to fit inside. 

This same girl talked constantly about the fat content of the snacks we had, and mentioned dieting all the time- and bullied the other little girls about what they ate, too.  After biting my tongue for awhile, I sat down with four of the girls and had a chat. I had to be hyper-vigilant about my own personal body issues the entire time. I think my main points were 1. You need these organs to be healthy and survive. If there were no room for them, what do you think would happen to you? 2. Is it better to me thin and sick, or to be a little bigger and healthy, with a body that works? 3. Aren't there more exciting and interesting things to talk about besides how many calories are in everything?  Then we talked about how much space our brain takes up in our heads. Would we want a smaller brain so our head could be smaller? 

It starts way earlier than we would think, and it's just so insidious and so, so sad. And we all know where it comes from. 

And as for the "well-meaning"- "You have such a pretty face..." (strategic pause)

That just sucks. It sucks!! I want to chisel exactly HOW much it sucks into the side of a mountain.A tall one.

Incommunicada

"Bueller? Anyone? Bueller?"

Evidently, it was an ad lib when Ferris Bueller uttered the immortal line, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. "

I've spent a lot of time doing a lot of "stopping and looking around" the past month or so. I have been doing a lot of cooking, and a lot of organizing that needed to be done. (There's still a lot more to go!) As well as filling in at work.  That's the amazing thing: I used to be the one who was sick all the time. So it's a welcome change to not be down with the flu or some gruesome cough this time of year: Such is the lot of the kindergarten teacher.

The other potentially amazing thing: my hubby has volunteered to start taking pictures of the food I cook and the places we go together. This is a big deal, as my iPhone photos are handy, but not particularly eye-candy material, and I thought that a collaboration between my writing and his talent at taking photos might be a fun enterprise. He took the photo of the cookie tower below- see what I mean?

The bottom tier was the first to go!

So I have a huge backlog of stuff, but the subject at hand tomorrow will be Thanksgiving. I snuck a copy of The Primal Blueprint onto the end table at my parents' vacation place. They can see first-hand the improvements in my appearance and demeanor. But I think the best emissary of all was the treats I whipped up. My brother was in charge of the (deep fried) turkey, and Dad made stuffing, but I pretty much did the rest, with some help from Mom (who got some help from the Armenian deli down the street!)

It's the first time I've ever done the bulk of the Thanksgiving cooking, and even though some items were just off-limits for LG and I, I made sure that there were lots of Primal treats for everyone to enjoy- as well as old favorites that I "Primal-ized" a little bit. I am happy to report that the chocolate chip cookies I made were the first thing to disappear, and the whipped sweet potato recipe I used was raved over (and I notice, squabbled over the most when it came time to divvy up leftovers.)

The most telling event: My mom makes pilaf without fail. Any major occasion, pilaf is there- we're Armenian, after all. This year, after she made sure I wouldn't eat it, she looked at the huge feast we were already preparing, and said, "You know, I don't think that we'll miss it!"  Not only was it not even mentioned, but I noticed that the only person who even needed to go back for seconds was my Dad. (And what did he get? Stuffing! I think he was the only one who ate it.)  The second most telling event? More than once, my family said that it was the best meal we had ever had, and commented on how beautiful and colorful everything was. I guess the key is feeding them into submission!

There's No Place Like Home

If only my arms looked like this...

Oh man, has it been a busy few days!

I have been back in my hometown, helping my best friend get ready to move out and sell her house.  She travels a lot for work, and her home is four bedrooms FULL of stuff.  Luckily, I have the time and the wherewithal to pitch in, so we have been going through everything, categorizing, and tossing.

I was pleasantly surprised by the variety of healthy restaurants that have sprung up while I have been gone.  I ate at two places that  had easily adaptable Primal options, including locally sourced meat and organic produce (although since my hometown is the heart of California’s agricultural area, this isn’t much of a stretch!)  For the rest of it, I hit up the Trader Joe’s down the street. I have been indulging in more dark chocolate than I would normally go for, but otherwise it’s been pretty easy.  The only thing I brought with me was my vanilla Bluebonnet whey protein.  That stuff is amazing.

It’s been an active few days. Lots of packing up, cleaning, and lifting of heavy objects: Mark would be proud.  My buddy and I managed to get a sleeper sofa out of her sunken living room, through the front door, and out into the driveway for Salvation Army pickup under our own power.  It was waiting there along with enough other stuff to fill the two car driveway- all of which we packed and moved ourselves, before 8AM. Let’s hear it for girl power!

While things have been very physically active, mentally I have been sort of clearing the decks.  I met up with my knitting group on Sunday, and in between bouts of packing and cleaning, have been periodically relaxing and watching a “new to me” series:  Midsdomer Murders.  I think it has been good- I am enjoying a sharper focus and generally feel like I am heading in the right direction. I head back home late on Tuesday night, and while I am thrilled to be able to help, it will be good to see Lord Grok and get settled back in at home, where my own projects are waiting for me.