Involuntary narcolepsy

Days 3 and 4 of my Whole 30 have gone pretty swimmingly. I still really miss stevia, and my Kerrygold butter. Last night, I bit the bullet and turned 3/4 of my butter stash into ghee, aka clarified butter. While ghee is just not the same, the aroma while the butter simmered brought back childhood flashbacks of watching my mom and grandmother make Armenian rice pilaf, which calls for clarified butter. Notably, Mom doesn't bother to clarify the butter anymore. (And I have to admit: while ghee is nice, it's nowhere near as nice as butter. I think that when I use this up, I will just use coconut oil instead.)

While I was stirring the ghee, I threw some artichokes and sweet potatoes into the oven to roast. The potatoes just got stabbed a few times and thrown in on a cookie sheet: no foil, no nothing. I invested more time in the artichokes- peeling garlic cloves  and drizzling olive oil on top, then sprinkling with sea salt.

While everything else worked out great, I suspect the oven temp was too high for my poor artichokes, and they had shriveled into sad little leathery pods by the time I bothered to check on them, halfway through the bake time listed on the recipe. I ended up having to throw the poor little crispy critters out- burnt on the outside, raw on the inside. I am going to blame the recipe I followed for that one.

Another Whole 30 quirk: it seems to be a well-known fact that around days 3 and 4, people complain of tiredness. Both yesterday and today, I woke up feeling great, and raring to go. Then around lunch time, I would sit down and ...Zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Involuntary naps, both days. I haven't noticed the shorter fuse that other people talk about, though. It's been relatively easy so far- but then, I haven't made a very drastic change, and didn't do the crazy "last supper" that most people do beforehand. We will see what happens this weekend: I am going out of town with one of my buddies, and I am hoping to stick with it the whole time!

Other, more pleasant side effects: my skin looks awesome. I swear, I look younger. I am also automatically paying more attention to the ingredients in packaged foods, out of necessity- something that everyone starts out with in the beginning, but after a couple of years of this, I have been on auto pilot. The only dairy I was consuming before was occasional ice cream, ditto Greek yogurt, and cheese and butter. I would also occasionally have a sugary treat. My sleep has been so much better, I am thinking that I will feel better if I emerge from this with a stricter interpretation- closer to Paleo than Primal. I hate the thought of ditching dairy altogether though!   

In the belly of the Death Star

I have been a bad blogger. 

I’ve basically been in survival mode for so long, any kind of additional contact with the outside world has been enough to send me into a tailspin. In the last four months, I’ve dealt with a move, the realization that we were going to move before my husband got a job, the prospect of both of us moving back in with my parents temporarily until the renters vacated our house- and then getting the house back, and realizing that the renters had trashed it, so we would be having to do massive reno to it (out of our savings, with no money coming in, and no sure way of getting money from the renters, OMG OMG we’re all gonna die)before we could get back into it. On top of that, illness, catch-as-catch- can eating, emotional, hormonal and medical nightmares, (I’ll spare you) seemingly infinite amounts of what can only be called bad luck, and crazy-insane amounts of stress. 

It was like the world’s most depressing, lengthy Russian novel- a forced march to the end, and it was my life. It seemed like every day, there was a lower level to be reached on my personal Downward Spiral of Doom.  I couldn’t deal with anything that wasn’t absolutely essential to day-to-day survival. And telling people what I was going through made my heart quail within me. I am not good at asking for help. I am usually that person who is there for others. I despise being needy or flaky, and for awhile there, I was both.  

 My husband, who is usually my rock, was in survival mode right along with me, going through all the same stuff. Discussing the status quo sparked huge, horrible arguments, and toward the end, it had been like being in the garbage bay in the belly of The Death Star- That scene where there’s something with tentacles under the water, AND the walls are closing in, except we were too paralyzed to do anything about it. The thought of writing about this process, day by day, was mind-numbing. Who wants to read about this crap? We were obviously cursed. There was nothing to do but get eaten or drowned or crushed quietly. 

But then, you know, the sun came out. We managed to make some progress on the house- found the world’s most awesome and reasonably priced contractor. We are going to end up doing a lot of the work ourselves, but that’s the only way it can get done, so we are doing it. We scraped the “cottage cheese” off the ceilings and are capable of painting and taping drywall and installing laminate and stuff like that, and hey, we have the time. We will finally have something close to the house we envisioned when we moved into it 10 years ago. So I suppose (and hope) that what was initially a horrible situation has turned out to be a bit of a blessing in disguise, in the form of giving us some much needed opportunities to attain some forward momentum. 

Accepting and admitting that the last few months have been a nightmare is oddly, one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I want to own these trials and tribulations, and make them something that I chose, or the result of crappy decisions I made. The reality is, in some cases, this is true. But the worst of it is just a shining example of “sometimes crappy things happen to good people”.  I have to stop beating myself up over feeling sorry for myself, because it’s completely counter-productive.  I feel like it’s a story I read: something that happened to somebody else.  

 I finally put it all together for a few of my closest friends. I could only bring myself to talk about it if I didn’t make eye contact with anyone, because if I saw the sympathetic expression on anybody’s face, I would totally have lost it. Of course, they were furious with me, for not asking for help while I fought a crazy three/four front war. They’ve all volunteered to come help us paint.  And as horrible as it was to convey what we were going through, I feel like it was a crucial step in helping me to move past it. 

SG and I got up early and went for a walk yesterday AM with the doggies. (I’ve got the sunburn to prove it! Holy crap, I have turned into Dracula.) And slowly but surely, we are adapting. Cooking in someone else’s kitchen is not easy, but I am getting the hang of it. My father, a noted squash-hater of many, many years, agreed to try my spaghetti squash with bison and vodka sauce last night. He ended up eating a big bowlful of it, and pronounced it “delicious”. I am so proud!

At the bottom of it all, I am lucky. I have incredibly supportive family, parents, and in-laws. Having friends again since I moved back home makes my heart light up with joy. I missed the friendliness of my hometown so very much. SG has several job interviews coming up, after months of applying for jobs and never getting so much as a call back. I am finally able to have a productive day that doesn’t involve a nervous breakdown. I know we are on the brink of something- if there’s anything to karma, it’s something good. Fingers crossed.  

Birthday Musings and Fruit Pizza!

My birthday is coming up, and EVERY YEAR, it is a battle. My family associates my birthday with Thanksgiving, and as such, my birthday cake was always a much-beloved part of the festivities.

Traditionally, the birthday cake was always the same. "Champagne Dream Cake", from Eddie's Bakery. It totally looks like something a six-year-old stripper would want to jump out of (and then face-plant into).  But it was cloaked in whipped cream, with light frothy cake and a dense custard filling. And then crowned with white chocolate curls (dyed pink) and icing birthday decor on top of that. It was delicious. There are pictures of me smashing a tiny version, the year I turned one. As I got a little older, it became more and more inappropriate, but the dream cake tradition soldiered on. The year I turned 21, there were blobby buttercream pink elephants celebrating on top with plastic champagne bottles, amid the curls of chocolate.

Three years ago, I asked that they please respect my wishes, and not get dream cake, and it was like someone had died. We got a dense, gluten-free chocolate torte from Whole Foods. We all ate one obligatory slice apiece, and then it sat there, unloved, the rest of the holiday weekend.

This year, the big day is actually ON Thanksgiving. Mom called, and started asking about gluten-free cakes. I asked her to please not worry about it, I would make my own, and she started talking about all the wonderful gluten-free flours on the market, and bakeries that are out there. I stubbornly insisted that I would prefer to make my own cake. Like last year.

Yeah. Last year, I used a coconut flour recipe. It was beautifully decorated, and it was good, but eating it was like eating a log. Heavy doesn't even begin to describe it.

So I heard the worry in my mother's voice when I said I was going to do this again.

I decided to go in another direction. Another of my favorite desserts was always fruit pizza, and it seemed like a great compromise, if not exactly cake. So I have been looking around for organic, seasonal fruit, and scouring blogs for recipes that looked good.

The result?

I used a sweetened coconut flour base, cream cheese frosting, and a lightly sweetened glaze on top. I am really excited, and proud of the way it came out. It's a fairly complicated, multi-step recipe, but all the actual techniques are really simple. If you want to use a small round pizza pan, you can cut these recipes all in half. (Or make two!)

Here's the scoop:

Crust: (Adapted from The Coconut Mama's Coconut Flour Pie Crust Recipe)

Ingredients-
1 c. salted butter, melted (preferably Kerrygold or similar)
2 Eggs
1/4 Tsp. Sea Salt
1.5 Cup Coconut Flour
2 TB Maple syrup

Instructions-
1)Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a medium bowl beat everything EXCEPT coconut flour together with a fork. Gradually incorporate coconut flour.

2)Gather the dough into a ball, then pat evenly onto a standard cookie sheet. Use a fork to make a fluted pattern around the edges of the pan. While you have your fork, prick 6-8 holes in the flattened dough, just for kicks.

3) Bake 9 minutes. Remove, allow to cool.

While crust is baking, make the Cream Cheese Frosting (Adapted from Elana's Pantry.)

Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients-
¾ c. heavy cream
1 package cream cheese (it helps to have this in a warm spot for an hour beforehand, it makes mixing much easier)
¼ c. Maple syrup
1 Tb.vanilla extract

  
Instructions-
1) Mix all ingredients together in a large bowl. I used a hand blender.

2) Throw it in the fridge to cool.

If you really want to get fancy, you can use a glaze. This is helpful if you aren't going to eat your creation right away, and it gives everything a beautiful, finished "sheen". The one I used is simple: just three ingredients.

Fruit Pizza Glaze

Ingredients-
1/2 c. water.
2 tsp. arrowroot powder
1 Tb maple syrup

Instructions-
1) Pour water into your teeniest saucepan, and bring to a boil.

2)Mix arrowroot and maple syrup together in a smallish bowl until arrowroot is completely incorporated.

3)Pour boiling water into arrowroot mixture. Stir until all combined. Allow to cool.

While everything is cooling, you have time to prep your fruit. I used raspberries, satsumas (seedless) strawberries, kiwi fruit, and pomegranate seeds. I wanted blueberries, but couldn't find organic. If you want to use fruits that brown (like apples, pears, bananas) you will probably want to use lemon juice on them first. I avoided that, because this is already a little complicated!

Wash, stem and peel anything that needs it. Slice your fruit- a mandoline helps, but I did it all by hand. This will probably take awhile.

OK! Last part! This is where it all comes together.

1) Apply Cream Cheese Frosting to cooled crust layer. The best technique seems to be to put a glop in the middle, then push it outwards, being careful not to cover the pretty fluting at the edges.

2) Arrange fruit slices on top of cream cheese frosting. You can use as much or as little as you want: I just tried not to put similar colors next to each other, overlapped a little,and did concentric squares-starting at the outside and moving in, to keep things fairly even.

3)Apply your glaze, using a brush- I used a silicone basting brush, it went well. Then I sprinkled some pomegranate seeds on top to make it look a little more carefree.

Into the fridge with that beast! And may the Force be with you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Love,

Lady Grok 

Books! We've got books here! (Make It Paleo)

If you've been reading this blog: you know. I love me some books. Big Books. Little books. Books that climb on rocks. Digital or papery, don't care, love them.

Naturally, this has led to a dependence relationship of sorts, with Amazon.com.

So here I sit, with all these new Paleo cookbooks surrounding me. Where to start? I should review them. I will review them.

And ironically, the first book I am going to review is one I bought from Amazon right when it came out. I have mentioned it here, briefly, and reviewed it online, and when The Food Lovers Kitchen offered Paleo bloggers the chance at a free copy of "Make It Paleo" in exchange for a review, I thought: Well: why not? (Plus, you all said, "Do it! DOOOO IIIIIT.")   And the best part is, I now have an extra copy to give away!

OK. Here's the dealio- initial reaction (shamelessly cut and pasted from my Amazon review):

All from "Make It Paleo" - except the piped frosting on the cake!

"When Make It Paleo showed up, I was initially a little taken aback by the weight of this thing. It's definitely a beast, but once I started flipping through it, I actually wished that it were longer. The photography is wonderful, and the recipes live up to or exceed expectations when you make them.

My favorite aspects: They make it look easy, and it is! Thoughtful, well detailed and explained instructions accompany each entry. I also love that there aren't any really puzzling ingredients: if you have a well-stocked Primal/Paleo pantry, you'll be able to find something you can cook easily, and avoid the trip to the grocery store. But I especially love their section on baked goods, specifically desserts. Gearing up for holidays with my extended family shouldn't be any more stressful than it already has to be, and I love that I can be confident that the Chocolate Chip Cookies will be OK for an occasional splurge, and will blend in with all the other more conventional treats on the table; people will probably have no clue that they're "special" unless you tell them. (My husband took a batch of them along on a trek to see his parents, and my non-Paleo father-in-law got on the phone at one point to tell me how delicious they were.)

There are lots of cake options as well, and they all look scrumptious. Those birthday occasions just aren't the same without cake! And if you want ice cream to go with it, that's an option too. It was a relief to tell my mom that I'll just bring my own cake this year: I know it will be much more delicious than the dark chocolate "flourless cake" that they got from Whole Foods last year.

This cookbook is giving me a reputation as a "foodie" that is pretty much undeserved. I have pretty much every Primal and Paleo cookbook out there right now, and this is the one that inspires me most. If you're in a rut but need to get motivated to dive into the kitchen and come up with something scrumptious, this book is a must-have. I keep posting pictures on Facebook of "what's for dinner tonight", and the overwhelming (99% Non-Paleo!) response is, "I'm coming to your house!" Definitely a winner, this one is in heavy rotation in our kitchen- an instant classic. Love it."

OK: now we are back in the present time. I have had this book for almost a year, and it is the one I turn to for "special occasion cooking"- namely, treats. Most of Thanksgiving last year depended on recipes from this book- Christmas, too. I felt prepared, armed with a gorgeous grain-free pumpkin pie for SG and I, not to mention the chocolate chip cookies. Which incidentally, disappeared off the cookie table before anything else did: they were dense, chewy, and delectable. And yes, that is my birthday cake in the photo at the top! Be warned: Paleo treats are yummy, but also calorie dense- and unexpectedly, super filling.  I know I seem to dwell on the desserts: when this came out, a cookbook with a vast dessert recipe section was a BIG deal. I shouldn't neglect the more standard entrees though: This book doesn't appear to have a dud recipe in it.

 So...do you want to win it? 

1. Comment on this blog post, 2. Post something amusing on my FB page to the effect of "Pick me!" and why : and 3. make sure you've "liked" the Lady Grok FB page. Yes, all three of those things: if you do all three, I know you really want an awesome free cookbook! I will do a random drawing and notify the winner this weekend. Good luck!

Pizzalicious Kale Chips

Here it is! I am posting! I feel like I have broken a curse or something.


In a pinch, when I feel like I "need" a snack, the Raw Foods area of Whole Foods tends to have a plethora of vaguely Paleo options. One of these options is kale chips. I was addicted to a "cheesy pizza" version at one time: but at 7 bucks for a teeny bag, this habit got to be expensive fast! Here's the closest I have gotten to duplicating those bad boys in my own kitchen.


Pizzalicious Kale Chips

2 c. tahini OR 2 c. raw cashews (cashews have a milder flavor- but require more water in the final mixture.)

1 bell pepper in the color of your choice.  (I used the frozen tri-color ones from Trader Joe's)

1/2 c. sun dried tomatoes

1 TB italian seasoning

2 cloves garlic (If you're a garlic person, as I am, you can go nuts here)

6 tbsp nutritional yeast (Optional- they make things "cheesier")

Juice of 1 lemon

1/4 tsp. sea salt

1 1/2 cup water

2 bunches Kale (I used 2 bags of Organic kale from Trader Joe's)

Prep your kale first: make sure it's torn into good kale-chip sized pieces. Some people like to de-stem it, but life is short (I don't). Wash the kale if not pre-washed, and put it through a salad spinner or blot dry. (The drier the kale is, the more easily sauce will adhere to it.)

Set aside the kale and the water. Throw everything else into the Cuisinart or a blender. Hit Pulse/Puree/what-have-you. Yes, the mixture will be pink-ish. Thanks, tomatoes! Once it's completely mixed together, add water gradually, thinning out the mixture until it looks right- not too clumpy, but not runny, either. A yogurt consistency is good. (You may not need to use all the water, ESPECIALLY if you chose tahini instead of cashews.)

Get your biggest bowl, take off any watches or rings, wash those hands, and put a few handfuls of kale into the bowl. Drizzle or spoon some of the sauce over the top, and "massage" to thoroughly coat. If you're not hands-on, you can try to accomplish the same thing with a giant spoon: it's less efficient, but still works. Repeat, adding layers of kale and sauce until kale and/or sauce is used up.

You'll probably want to scrub the heck out of your hands, but you still have to add your kale to the dehydrator trays, or to the oven. I used the dehydrator, so YMMV if you use the oven! I tend to throw everything in on a low-ish setting, then leave it overnight. Depending on how OCD you are, you can try to spread the kale out, or you can glop down larger handfuls, smear them on the sheets, make sure there's at least SOME airflow, and hope for the best. I've tried both ways: spreading the kale out obvs takes longer, but it is more aesthetically pleasing afterwards and has a shorter drying time. The "Glop and smear" method is faster, and easier, but takes longer to dry. Choose your own adventure.

Your chips are done when they are crunchy. (sadly, dehydrating is not an exact science.)  I put them in a ziploc and squeeze as muuch extra air out as I can. Oh: and if you accidentally drop a tray on the floor, I have it on good authority that dogs like kale chips. At least, mine do.

Happy kale chipping!

Cookbooks and Kombucha

This last week has been: well a little nuts. Computer problems, the A/C went out, and then the medication I am taking is sucking the life out of me. No A/C means minimal cooking, and computer problems mean that blogging goes on the back burner for awhile. I've also been dealing with writer's block- I think perfectionism is getting in my way. Hopefully, more frequent (but less wordy) posts will solve that problem.

I have used the downtime to go through the 3-4 Paleo cookbooks that all seem to have showed up at once in the last few weeks, and to stop obsessing over my Kombucha culture.

As it turns out, I think all the Kombucha wanted was a little privacy. I peeked in today, and Lo! The 30 days are up, the kombucha was giving off encouraging whiffs of vinegar, and best of all, there was a thin whitish film forming at the top of the pitcher. If left to its own devices, that film would eventually (theoretically) become the new kombucha mushroom.

I poured a little into a glass, and tested the pH as directed. The recipe officially become Kombucha when the pH is below 4, and I would estimate that mine has a pH of around 3. My little baby's all grown up! Now, all I have to do is transfer my starter solution into the gallon glass container I bought, and begin the process anew- this time with a larger volume of sugar and tea, so it  can really do its thing!

Oh: and yes, I tasted it. A wee bit vinegary, but awesome. I plan to add some ginger juice to whatever I have left over, after the transfer. We'll see if it gets bubbly- Yum!

I have managed to test some recipes- mainly focusing on the upcoming review of "The Food Lovers Make It Paleo." In the past, I have made a ton of their recipes, so this is just a refresher. After the crazy heat here earlier this week, the Jicama Tacos were just what the doctor ordered! The leftovers have stretched a few days, in taco salad form as well.  I've previously mentioned this cookbook: I couldn't have done my birthday or Thanksgiving last year without them. So if you want to read a tiny blurb, before the big review this weekend, you can check out my post here. Or if you want to check 'em out for yourself, give their website a look-see.

Kale chip recipe tomorrow. Pinkie-swear!

Cooking up a storm

Yes, there were a ton of pics that went with this! I got so obsessed with photo editing,I  fell into the dark world of Instagram et al. Then I realized I was taking days to just out this post up, and then I thought- well, while photos are great, I am procrastinating. Screw the photos. They know what they did.  So here this is: light on photos. But it's HERE. VICTORY!!

I have been going crazy with the new addition to our family: The Vitamix. This blender has been on heavy rotation. I am having to curb my usual slovenly "I'll just soak it" excuse, and have made a rule with the VM AND the Cuisinart that I have to wash everything out immediately. While it's irritating at the time, it makes life a heck of a lot easier.

So far, the Vitamix has pulverized multiple smoothies, blended coconut ice cream, coconut milk, apricots (for apricot chicken on Monday night!) and probably other things I can't remember. My fridge is filled with tiny containers with colorful pureed masterpieces nestled within.

So I was pretty confident when I decided to roast two bags of sunflower seeds and frappe my way to homemade sunbutter.

One thing: making nut or seed butter with the VM is more challenging than just throwing the stuff in and hitting a button. My blender would go for fifteen or twenty seconds, and then the "emergency overheat" feature would kick in. If you think this is annoying: well, you would be right. I was beginning to think my new Precious was defective. But: BEHOLD!!! For future reference, this is the magical VitaMix nut butter procedure:

"You should always start the machine on variable #1 and very quickly increase the center dial to #10 and then immediately flip the left switch from variable to HIGH. This operation should only take 3 seconds. If you are running the recipe on the variable low settings as you are describing below the machine overheats at about 15-20 seconds and shuts down.

Try making the recipe with the appropriate settings and you will see that the appliance will produce the most awesome almond, peanut, pecan, and cashew butter. For best results you should you no less than 4 ½ cups of raw nuts and 3 tablespoons of oil. Additionally, please make sure that you are using the tamper. "

So it has been written. So it shall be done.

The kombucha is just sort of sitting in the cabinet, looking inscrutable and completely unchanged. I am not sure what I am waiting for....although signs of cultures forming will be nice. I am thinking that as experiments go, I am way too impatient, and not quite forgetful enough.

Last night was another cooking bonanza: I am out of my funk, but it's still hot here, so SG was assigned to make hamburgers outside on the grill, and I made Paleo Burger Buns, cranked out hand cut sweet potato fries, came up with a recipe for macadamia pesto pretty much on the fly (the one I linked is similar: I cut out the cheese and doubled the macadamias, as well as adding a little more olive oil to part of the batch to make it "drizzley"), and sliced up some veggies to go with.  My mandoline either needs to be sharpened, or it just doesn't like sweet potatoes, because trying to use the fry-slicing feature was a nightmare. I just ended up slicing them by hand.  I see now why frozen fries were such a popular convenience food.

This has been an interesting week, food-wise: I am spending a LOT of time on FastPaleo, which even has an app, and also discovered something I have been searching for forever: Eat Your Books. It's a fantastic resource for keeping track of recipes- I have so many Primal/Paleo cookbooks now, and can't for the life of me remember the source of recipes anymore. Was it on the web? Did I save it to Pinterest, and if so, to which board? If it's in a book, which book? I desperately wanted to make my cookbook collection searchable- by recipe title, or main ingredient, course, whatever. And this seems to be a really seamless way of doing all of that: it pulls indexes from books, magazines, and blogs, plus you can add your own recipes.  AND it seems to have indexes, cover photos, and info for all the recent Primal/Paleo cookbook offerings on the market. Wooohoo! I used a coupon code to get the first three months free. I tried a few codes before I found one that worked: if you want to try it out, you can send me an email here or PM me on Facebook (Maybe throw me a "like" on there, if you haven't already ;) and I'll hook you up. Cheers!

Something's Brewing!

Special delivery!

OK! I am back. I have a big, flipping bruise from the IV that covers the entire back of my right hand, but am otherwise, relatively undamaged. Hooray!

So: Kombucha.

I got a freebie SCOBY (Symbiotic Colony Of Bacteria and Yeast- yum) from Cultures For Health the other day. I have been considering making this stuff for awhile- I did like the bottled stuff I got, but that could really add up, and I am all about getting experimental in the kitchen. Making my own kombucha seemed like an intriguing thing to try.

When my SCOBY and other kombucha-making accoutrements arrived, the dehydrated SCOBY looked like- well. Nothing, really. Maybe a large, flat, potato chip? It was brownish and circular, wrapped in a cellophane bag and sealed up. Not much thicker than a piece of paper. Supposedly, it will take 30 days to do its thing and make a batch.

You can juuust see the SCOBY there, at the bottom.

So I dutifully followed the directions: brewed oolong tea, added sugar, and let it cool. (In theory, the sugar will be mostly consumed by the SCOBY during the culturing process) The sugar was extracted from the back of my cupboard- it dates back to pre-paleo days, so...three years ago? It was hard as a rock. I had to chisel at it to get enough to add.  Once cooled, I added white vinegar, and then the SCOBY.

A few days have passed, and it is looking hopeful. The SCOBY is lying peacefully on the bottom of the container, and is about 10 times thicker than it was, and kind of spongey in appearance: it resembles nothing so much as a slim pancake. It has taken up residence in the warm cupboard between the stove top and the fridge, and seems pretty happy in there so far. SG has asked about it- evidently, he thought I had forgotten about it. He seems to enjoy calling it "the chupacabra".

So now, I need to wait for it to work its magic. I was actually contacted by someone at Cultures For Health with info and troubleshooting ideas, which was really cool! We'll have to see how it turns out. I eventually want to try it with alternative sweeteners: I have honey and maple sugar lined up for this, but I was concerned about killing my only SCOBY. Once it reproduces, I should be able to try out a few new things.

I just got back from a massive Trader Joe's run, and am in cooking mode. Tomorrow's going to see some heavy kitchen use- I want to make Paleo Burger Buns (Found on FastPaleo, via Grokette's Primal Musings), to go with burgers and sweet potato fries for tomorrow's dinner. Also in the works, another batch of cheesy kale chips- I am experimenting with a new recipe, so that will be fun. I'll post it if it turns out the way I think it will. I also want to make some Sunbutter and whatever else strikes my fancy.

OMG, the kitchen is going to be thrashed! Worth it, though. ;)

And I say to myself, "Well? How did I get here?"

I was out of town last week, and am juggling getting my schedule back together and a whole bunch of medical stuff (but that's the other blog!) this week. Please forgive my hiatus. I swear, it is all I can do to stay on track and keep cooking.

In the meantime, here are the highlights:

As I am not really "allowed" to run or lift weights, SG and I decided I should get a bike. Here's "Hedwig". I love her! We have already gone on a few jaunts together- the last of which involved picking up my meat and produce order from Tara Firma Farms.


I have been slowly going through Practical Paleo, and actually took it to the coast with me. I love it even more than I did at first, if that's possible.


 I have been cooking up a storm. I can't say I was responsible for the chickens (just the veggie sides), but they were the work of my baby bro- I admit they were delicious. My family is asking more questions, and my sis was flipping through Practical Paleo: I have to admit, I am excited about that.

I am actually getting more and more into cooking, and am getting dangerous in kitchen stores. This is probably the place to admit that both SG and I have a "favorite spatula". Since we keep fighting over it, we decided to get some spares.

Since I am not drinking coffee right now, and I noticed how much SG enjoyed using the one at my parents' place, we broke down and got him a Keurig. I sent a vinegar and a rinse cycle through our trusty Cuisinart 8 cup model, and put it into storage where my breadmaker used to live. 

Gadgetry is taking over. I just bought a deep-fryer (filled with coconut oil of course!) and deep-fried something for the first time last night. It seems to be less greasy- and less messy! Than pan frying, and I was super-impressed with the results: I guess I am a convert. We are also talking about biting the bullet and splurging on a Vitamix. Everyone I know who has one loves it, and I would rather get one appliance than getting a juicer and upgrading my tiny Cuisinart.

Oh! I finally tried Kombucha. And liked it! I am even considering *gasp* MAKING MY OWN. Who knows what's next?! Maybe I will get brave enough to deal with the offal in my freezer this week.

Yummy, yummy food, plus an Amazon shopping spree.

I have been slogging away in the kitchen a bit this week. Getting the house under control finally seems like a realistic goal, which is helpful: it's much nicer to cook in a clean and somewhat orderly kitchen, and I am much more likely to take pictures of my culinary masterpieces if I don't have to clear up a bunch of clutter to do it!

Can I get a witness?!

From L-R: Zucchini Bolognese, lox, eggs, &avocado breakfast, grilled lamb steak with salad & fresh fruit!

Things are going well. I finally got back on the Wii bandwagon this week, and am happily Walking It Out, again, which is something I miss when I don't do it. I have been pretty active with all the running around and cleaning I have been doing, but I still like having that routine.

I think my hormones are continuing to straighten themselves out: I tried on a jacket that was tight last week. Now it fits comfortably. I still haven't gotten on the scale, as I don't want to fall into the "dieting mindset" trap, but I am really encouraged. 

And now, it's time for: RETAIL THERAPY!

I made a few purchases that I am really happy with this week, and I wanted to share (saving the best for last, of course!)

We go through a ton of iced tea in the summertime:  I typically make a lot of iced chai or mint tea, partially because those are easy to find organic versions of, and partially be cause- well, they taste amazing. But last week, we went out to dinner and I ordered this: The Republic of Tea's Blackberry Sage Iced Tea. And it was amazing, and I really wanted to be able to make this on my own. They do sell tea bags, but of course, those aren't organic. So I dug around and found Deckan Tea's Blackberry Organic Blend.

So far so good, right? Except: this is loose-leaf tea. I need enough to make a pitcher of iced tea. My tiny little tea ball is not going to cut it. So I bought Gigantor from Amazon.com.

Now: this is an enormous freaking tea ball. I will say that it does a wonderful job of brewing.  It fits perfectly in my pitcher too! My favorite benefit is being able to use the hook to hang Gigantor from the handles on my kitchen cabinets and drain the dregs into the batch.

Picky people, take note: I do wish the mesh was a bit finer, as there's a fine silt of tea particles at the bottom of the pitcher. I can avoid these, but can see how they might get annoying.  The other concern is, it says "stainless steel" on the purchase page, but the box and materials say NOTHING about it. (But they do say "Made in China".  I may end up testing the metal to be safe.)

My acupuncturist keeps going on about meditation. Now- I am not a good meditator. I tend to get distracted easily by noises or shiny objects or my To-Do list, and any attempt as sitting quietly is promptly shot to hell. Which is why- well, when I ran across Leela, I was immediately intrigued. I played for awhile last night, and I think I will make it a part of my evening exercise routine- a nice little interlude before I wind down for the night. Game play was relaxing, somewhat challenging but not stressful, and I definitely felt more centered afterwards. I also had crazy, amazing dreams- which may have absolutely nothing to do with Leela, but I don't remember my dreams often, so I think it may have contributed to deeper and more restful sleep.

And of course: (last, but not least) Practical Paleo. Where do I start? I guess I can start where Diane Sanfilippo starts, which is right at the beginning.

There are some people who are great at explaining complex processes in layman's terms, without coming across as preachy or insufferable, or like they are talking down to you. Diane, thankfully, is one of those people. This is good, because food choices are intensely personal, and if you read this book, you will change the way you eat. Not because of guilt, not because of a misguided sense that "it's the right thing to do", but because there's just no other logical choice.

This covers pretty much everything: cooking techniques and recipes, but also what to avoid, and exactly why, and what you can use as a replacement for the things you miss. I thought I had a pretty good grasp of Paleo: and I know the general tenets, but I didn't break it down to the point that Practical Paleo does. I learned a bunch of new stuff. For example: I knew that cutting out gluten lessened SG's horrible seasonal allergies, but couldn't explain how or why it worked. Now I know, and can explain it! Awesome.

This is also one of those wonderful cookbooks that makes you want to go out and cook. I know that part of that is due to Bill (Of Food Lover's Kitchen fame) Staley's fantastic photography, but a lot of it is due to the imagination and ease of the recipes in here. Lots of great Mediterranean options, and some original stuff that I doubt most people could come up with on their own. I stopped flagging recipes after about 10- the whole thing is great. There's a crustless quiche recipe that looks divine: like Van Gogh's "Starry Night" in quiche form, if you can believe that. I know I will be making that this week!

So in closing: if you are going to get one of the many Primal/Paleo books on the market, but haven't pulled the trigger yet: get this one. It's compulsively readable, and I hope it does for Paleo what "Stitch 'N Bitch" did for knitting. In fact, that's what it reminds me of: a fun, usefully illustrated, and compelling "how-to" book. Except instead of "how-to" knit a sweater, it's "how-to" change your life and health.  It's the most comprehensive, approachable, and yes, practical book  that I have in my sizable Paleo library, and I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone.    

Put the lime in the coconut...

I used to buy the Trader Joe's unsweetened coconut milk. You know, the kind in the tetra pak. But then I noticed that I was going through a heck of a lot of the stuff, and that it was super-watered down, and therefore, kind of a rip off. I hear great things about the Native Forest brand of canned milk, but it's spendy, takes up a ton of pantry room, and even while it is BPA free, it has guar gum in it. Amazon has it for a pretty amazing price: $23.71 for 12 cans, at the time of this writing.

Just for kicks, I decided to see what the price difference would be if I made my own milk So I bought a 12 pack of organic shredded coconut from Amazon, and did some math (and hopefully, I got it right!)

Native Forest works out to about 17 cents per oz, or $1.36 per cup. Making my own worked out to about 4 cents per oz, or 32 cents per cup.

So that was my motivation. Saving space, convenience, and let's face it, a 400% price cut for a little bit of effort on my part seemed worthwhile. Plus, I can store unsweetened, shredded coconut in the freezer until I need it, and use it for other stuff too!  Let the experiments begin!

I am having good and bad luck with my DIY approach to coconut milk. The end result is always delicious, but the journey has been fraught with peril. Such as blender explosions (no kidding) or the habit of straining everything through a blue tea towel and ending up with lovely cerulean milk. So, here's what I have figured out: it's a process. Also, that next time, I will change some things. I'll be using the Cuisinart, and I will be adding another step to the process.

I like using about a 3:1 ratio of filtered water to coconut. Some people use a more 4:1 ratio, but I like having a thicker texture with the coconut cream on top. And yeah, those are the only two ingredients.  Filtered water and unsweetened dry shredded organic coconut. Most people advocate using warm water. I like to use hot water, because it helps to leach more fat out of the coconut. Mmmmmmm, fat.

Step One: Dump your coconut into the blender. Easy Peasy! You are a genius and a money saver!

Step Two: Throw hot water on top. Pray that the blender does not explode, and switch blender to "on".

(Prayer was not answered. Freak out, pick shredded coconut off the kitchen curtains, and neglect to take any photographic evidence. Resolve to use less liquid for blending, adding more at bottling stage- or use Cuisinart next time. YMMV- your blender may not be demonically possessed. ) 

Step Three: Line giant Pyrex measuring cup with blue tea towel. Hope that blue tea towel doesn't bleed dye into coconut milk this time- shades of Bridget Jones last time around. Happily, this one seems colorfast. Squeeze milk through tea towel. Try to ignore volcanically heated coconut water on your hands. Resolve to get a metal or a wooden napkin ring to help squeeze and protect fingers next time.

Step Four: Voila! Nice, creamy coconut milk. (You would have more if the blender hadn't exploded.) Be happy that you remembered to use a vessel with a spout, as you will be pouring it into a fancy recycled juice bottle.  Covertly feed resulting squeezed coconut pulp to anxious dogs, who are lurking in wait, out of frame.

Step Four, Part Two: How pretty! All ready to go into the fridge overnight! Acknowledge your brilliance. You are Coconut Milk Master.

 Step Four, Part Three: Wake up, decide you want iced Chai. Coconut cream has risen to the top. This seems good, until you realize fat has solidified into a liquid-proof seal. When inverting the bottle and shake and it doesn't work, resort to stabbing with a teaspoon. Coconut cream breaks up somewhat, but now the teaspoon is stuck in the bottle. Contemplate smashing the bottle against the counter like you are in a bar fight. Luckily, spoon magically frees itself. Don't ask questions (or take pictures). 

 Definitely time for some iced chai with coconut milk. While you're not averse to some texture in your chai, large chunks of coconut cream may be a deal breaker for others.

Stick cold coconut milk back into the blender. Hooray! Problem solved. Evidently, the cold alleviates the clumping.  Just a few shakes seems to make things nice and smooth. Back into the fridge.

Check a few hours later, just in case. Yup, still good.

Which Way?

Today is...well, it's back to reality.


I am realizing that there's a lot I am keeping quiet about, and it's affecting my ability to keep things updated, because my focus is somewhere else.


So: the baby quest is now well underway. I am excited to be making progress on this front, although I am dismayed that I am having to go the conventional medical route. I really don't like the idea of messing with hormones etc., but we have waited long enough. Compromises must be made! It may be a little TMI for some people, but if you are interested, you can read about things over here.



The other thing: parents.

When we were in Carmel last weekend, I could tell something was wrong.  As it turns out, Dad is having some health issues. We were heading back up the hill after having breakfast, and I could tell he was struggling. He said it had happened before. It's something related to his heart- He refused to talk about it, but I am guessing that it's angina or some kind of arrhythmia. He's already got a stent in one of his arteries. Evidently, with everything else going on, I wasn't supposed to be told about it.

He went in yesterday for a full workup, and the good news is, all his arteries checked out fine, including the one with the stent. The bad news is that there is still obviously an issue, and we don't know what it is. Mom is talking about cutting red meat out of his diet, getting him to slow down a little to curb stress, and having him do a sleep study. I keep thinking about the Primal Blueprint book that was sitting on the bedside table drawer in the guest room- obviously not read. I don't want to be pushy, but I think I would regret it if I didn't at least say my piece now.

And of course, when I am worried and focusing on other things, good habits tend to slip a little. I cleaned out the fridge before we went on our trip, but haven't restocked- so we have been gong out to dinner a lot, and I am feeling "off". Time to get back in the swing of things!!!

Today I am taking a trip to the grocery store, making coconut milk, and "roasting" a chicken in the crockpot. Making some iced tea and boiling some eggs to have on hand sounds good, too!

It's also the time when I can switch up my CSA box, so I cancelled the veggies, but bumped up our meat share. The veggies were going to waste: we were getting tons of okra, and too many salad greens to use before they went bad, and just stuff we don't eat a lot of.  I have an easier time planning meals around meat than around veggies! I also added a share of fruit and a share of offal to the order, to try things out. Things are about to get experimental over here!!! 

Snickerdoodle Alert

Yes, I wish I had a Viking range!

I tend to make a lot of similar meals. Roasting something (chicken, large chunk of animal protein) is the basis for many of my meals, simply because it's easy, and doesn't destroy the kitchen night after night, due to the magic of Leftovers. Oh leftovers, I love you so! I do enjoy cooking, but NOT having to cook is even better.

I finally got the news today (after six days of torture) that what I was worried about, healthwise, will not be an issue. Knowing I will be able to move forward is a huge weight off my shoulders.
Spending the week waiting for answers has been nerve wracking, and my routine went out the window. The result? There have been a few experiments this week.


The first one? Snickerdoodles.

I rarely try to make Primal/Paleo treats, because of course, I eat them. But after the last pizza experiment, I have a big shipment of coconut flour from amazon.com. And I read a nice-looking Snickerdoodle recipe I thought I would try on one of the Facebook Paleo sites I visit.

Here is the recipe I followed:

2 sticks butter
4 eggs
1/2 c. coconut flour
1/4 c. brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp vanilla

bake at 325 for 20min.

Easy peasy, right?  

I have no "sugar" in my house. I do have a baking blend of sugar, stevia, and inulin. I used 1/8 c. of that, mixed all the ingredients, and loaded up the cookie scoop.

The results looked pretty awesome!

 SG ate these happily, three to four at a time. Since the recipe makes somewhere between 16 and 18 cookies, they didn't last long.

He really liked them- I was less thrilled. I will probably make a version of them again, closer to Christmas time, and with some tweaks.

1. I'll use less butter. At least 2 TB less, possibly as much as 1/2 stick.  There was melted butter running all over the baking sheets when these were done.

2. I'll sub out the "sugar" for maple syrup.

3. I'll press out the cookies a little, so they look more like cookies. These really hold their shape while baking, and I would like them to look less like biscuits or pucks. ;)

The texture on these was interesting: a little more cakey than I would like, but most "paleo" cookies do that.  I am thinking a thinner cookie would eradicate that issue. The exterior had a nice crunch and crumble. SG seemed unaffected by eating huge quantities, but I only wanted one or two. That Coconut flour is pretty filling.

Let me know if you decide to try 'em out!

Doctor Doctor

Wait, how much saturated fat do you eat?!!

I dread doctor's appointments.

I suppose a big part of it is the getting weighed part, which I hate. And the lectures. About my weight.

New docs are typically the worst. And as I just got new insurance (through Kaiser) and was going to a brand new doc's office for my preliminary visit: Ugh.

Pleasant surprise #1: I actually managed to FIND the office. The OB/GYN offices at Kaiser are on the second floor, but you have to follow certain colored tiles and take a specific elevator, or you're hosed. As I had never been there before, I had to rely on the kindness of MULTIPLE strangers to get me there. (The initial kind stranger sent me to the ER. Oops.)

Pleasant surprise #2: They have a high-tech, digital scale. No more weird, awkward conversations where I have to ask someone to move the lower weight on the standard issue scale up a mark or three.  "I never would have guessed you weighed that much!" Um...thanks? Happily, not an issue. "Beep!" That was it. Win.

Pleasant surprise #3: My blood pressure has gone down. 108/80? Usually, I am around 120/70 or 120/80. I guess I have Wii Walk It Out to thank for that.

Pleasant surprise #4: I like my new doctor. She listened, was nice to talk to, and ordered the testing panels that I wanted. (A LOT of tests!) And let's face it- a Pap is never really something you consider a pleasant experience. This was no exception, but at least it wasn't horribly uncomfortable.

The only fly in the ointment: At the end, I thanked her for her approach, and her discretion in not giving me The Fat Lecture.  "Oh- well, your exercise habits seem good. But yes, we will be discussing that down the road!" she said, cheerily. (Cue distant ominous thunderclap.)  And she hasn't gotten a look at my cholesterol results yet. I am getting my speech about declining statins all prepared.

Then on the way out, I ended up joining forces with a group of 5 people who were also desperately searching for the exit. Which would have been funny, if it wasn't so freaking sad That place is like a rabbit warren.

Ironically, the next errand was to pick up our CSA veggie and pastured meat orders from Tara Firma Farms. Lots of nice salad greens, and a stripey cucumber that looks like a variety of gutah!

Meat order was especially good this week too: a pastured chicken, pork sausage with apples in it, and some ground beef. Yum!  

I tossed all that into the fridge, then made a stop at Ross (I had an hour to kill).


I am trying to update my summer wardrobe. I've been wearing the same clothes for the last few summers- something most other people would probably take for granted, but having clothes fit me reliably from one summer to the next is still something that blows my mind. I picked up some cute tops and some summer dresses.

I also had a hilarious experience when I tried on a crazy pair of shoes. These suckers were HIGH. I'd estimate 6 inch wedge heels- white open toed sandals with a basket-weave sole, and on the very back of the heels, about 20 multicolored leather flowers, each anchored with a metal stud. Please keep in mind that I am 37, and not a drag queen, and I have nowhere to wear them, but they were on CLEARANCE. And I just had to know. I live in an area where expensive yoga pants and flip-flops are de rigeur. But these things were pretty extreme by any standards.

So I am standing there in front of the shoe mirror, basically over 6 feet tall and wearing a tiny backyard on each foot, and a mom with two little boys following her like ducklings walks by. The oldest was about four. He stopped and took a long look at my feet, and then reluctantly moved on when his mom called to him. Little bro- probably 2, close to three- just stopped and stared, mouth open, completely flabbergasted, for a good minute. Words had completely escaped him. I said to him, "Fancy shoes, huh?" and he just nodded mutely. Mom kept calling him, and finally walked back over to where I was, and picked the little guy up, laughing.  Never underestimate the power of shoes!

Next stop- Haircut. My hair was getting completely out of control. I probably hadn't gotten a trim in 6 months. I finally managed to make an appointment with my hair guru, and while we agreed to take three inches off, I would guess the total had to be closer to 5 or 6. I needed it though. Behold!

I think it's a pretty good Before and After- and yes. I brushed my hair that morning. 

 Yesterday, while people were out celebrating and relaxing, SG and I put up the flag, then joined forces and got some much-needed cleaning done. We did take a break mid-day, so we could feast. Grass-fed cheese burgers! He grilled, and I made the salad. 

As I was putting the finishing touches on our plates, he bought in the burgers, fresh from the grill. And mentioned that one of our neighbors had complimented him on the smells that typically waft out our kitchen window at dinnertime. Our neighbor is divorced, and has custody of his eight-year-old son.

"I feel bad," said SG. "They were sitting out front, eating tuna-fish sandwiches. Can we...?" And he motioned to the plate of burgers with his free-hand. We'd grilled up two pounds of grassfed beef. There was plenty to share.

   

We made up a plate and SG took it over. I hope they liked it! 

Chicken is on the menu for tonight. I don't know what I would do without my CrockPot.