Call Me

This has been one of those days when from the very beginning, it's been kind of a throw-away. I was woken up by the neighbors having an argument at 5AM. Couldn't get back to sleep. SG and I ended up getting dressed and going out for breakfast. We hadn't gotten a lot of sleep anyway, so we both mechanically chewed our way through eggs and diner hash like zombies.

It actually started last night- I got some medical test results back that were contradictory, and basically, potentially devastating to my plans to have biological children. Or, it could be fine! It just depends on how my doctor's office wants to interpret the values. They might very well refuse to help me, based on these numbers. If that's the case, I will go in another direction.  I haven't waited this long to accept being denied on the basis of numbers on a piece of paper.

But in the meantime, I have nothing to go on, I have done all the crying and agonizing that I will allow myself to do. So I just have to sit tight and wait it out.

I called the doc's office and left a message with their service. I am sure there's something more nerve wracking than waiting for a call back on a Friday, but I don't care to know what it is right now. If I have to agonize over this all weekend with no answer, I seriously don't know what I will do. All I seem capable of doing is staring at the phone, willing it to ring, and furiously googling.

The good news is though, that there are accounts of women with numbers worse than mine, getting pregnant. Other good news- I am not eating ice cream. That's a testament to my mental fortitude, and cannot be overlooked.

If they don't call me back soon, I am going to lose my MIND and....shank a manatee?! Yes, that sounds satisfying.