This pretty much sums up how I feel about my visit to the naturopath today. And it sounds a lot better than just a long stream of profanity. Thanks, Charles Dickens!!
After processing all the info, this is what I got out of it: summed up in excerpts from the email I sent to the acupuncturist.
"Well: not so good. I will send you the labs once I get them scanned but this is the Reader’s Digest version.
First, my cholesterol is 309. HDL: 83, LDL 202. (Holy crap!) That's a 100 point rise since I was tested in 2010. Trigs at least, are normal at 121.
I have a zinc deficiency, and something major is amiss with my liver. Uric Acid and GGT are both off the charts.- The range on Uric acid ends at 7, and mine is 7.9. GGT should be between 3 and 50, and mine is 80. This may explain why I occasionally levitate when you hit that Liver point around my feet/ankles. It’s not stress, it’s my super-angry liver.
Free T3 is on the low end of normal. I am also slightly anemic, which I expected. Some good news: my immune system seems to be iron-clad. All my blood ratios look good, except for iron.
While I know you say FSH is only valuable in Day 3, mine was at 43.1, which (per the lab sheet) puts me in the “post menopausal” range. As someone who is only 37 and would like to eventually have children, this is...disappointing. Also, my blood glucose was high.
So, the good news: We were right about my thyroid being juuust a bit wonky. He has given me (piggy) thyroid pills to try, at a dosage of ½ grain a day. He says those work more naturally with the body than synthesized T3. I am supposed to start taking those after a 5 day liver cleanse. I’ll send those sheets over too. Looking over it, I’ll be drinking herbal tea and taking a tincture, as well as eating a lot of organic fruit, fresh squeezed juice, and veggies. Oh, and taking a laxative (so not happy about this!) in order to help kick out toxins. He says that the imbalance in my liver would affect my hormones and everything else, and the resultant inflammation may be the reason my cholesterol is so high. He also said that my blood glucose levels indicate that my body doesn’t utilize sugar/carbs well- which is one of the reasons I gain weight so easily. My body is a "hoarder".
The consensus was that this is all fixable, and we’ll be testing at intervals to make sure that we are getting things right. He gave me a B-12 shot and all my little bottles and sent me on my way.
Thoughts? I am experiencing a strange mix of relief (I am not crazy) and frustration (this better freaking work, dammit), but I would like your input on this."
When I got home, I laid it all out for SG, and he helped me to see the bright side of the situation, which is that it IS fixable, and that we should take the opportunity to go out and get burgers with sweet potato fries at The Counter. I had a few sips of PB shake too, and it was sweet in a horrible way, so evidently, I have kicked sugar for good. I will take comfort that eating this way for a week for cleansing purposes will just be like Grok had a bad 5 days of hunting. (And I am sure SG is dreaming of the inevitable pizzas he will order while I am on my fruit, veggie, root, and bark "liver cleanse".)
I have to admit, there was a moment when my naturopath was explaining this plan to me, and announced, "And people often lose quite a bit of weight doing this!" and I made a very unattractive snorting noise. He looked affronted. I was surprised by how UPSET I was to derail the way I have been eating, and how scared I am to do it. I did finally lose the last of my "Christmas weight", and I credit my discipline thus far with helping me to do that. It's still Primal: not necessarily low carb, but 5 days is certainly not going to kill me. Right?