The Infamous LCF

LCF= Low Carb Flu.

I am realizing now just how much sugar: in the form of fruit and heavy cream and chocolate/grain-free desserts must have been slipping through the cracks.

Because initially, I felt great. And then I got my blood drawn on Thursday, and when I got home, I was actually giddy. I suspect that this was the last gasp of my system, trying to run on sugar fumes. On Friday, I came to a screeching halt. I was starving, we are talking ravenously hungry, but nothing "allowed" sounded good. My joints and muscles ached. I kept clenching my jaw. And I had the mother of all headaches. This continued through Monday, when I refused to cop out and take Excedrin Migraine, and I had accidentally skipped my coffee- suddenly it was late at night, and if I wanted to sleep, caffeine would be a bad idea. So I toughed it out, until the unpleasant throbbing in my head turned into that distinctive migraine pain: which for me, feels like being shanked in the eye by an icepick. (So lucky!)

I tried taking Excedrin PM. Luckily the PM part worked, and I actually managed to go to sleep...but the migraine was still there when I woke up on Tuesday. Sir Grok took one look at me and brought me two migraine pills and water in bed, and commanded me to go back to sleep. When I finally woke back up, I felt like a million bucks. Here's hoping I am through the worst of it!

The naturopath called today: My test results are in, so I will be going in tomorrow to discuss those. Acupuncture was interesting today: cutting out sugar and dairy (except butter and occasional cheese) seems to be doing: well, something. My body is doing weird things: My temps are up, and seem to be evening out, and per my acupuncturist, "Your tongue looks almost normal."  And my wrist pulses are evidently "better" this week, too. Looking around, I see other people alluding to the sudden feeling of warmth or flushing that I have been getting since I started the Leptin Reset. My guess is that my body has finally started to adjust. Thank goodness! 

Face the fear and do it anyway.

I need a few more exclamation points (and maybe a few more o's) to appropriately convey just how much I hate having my picture taken.  The advent of Facebook has made it worse: as someone who has always struggled with her skin and her weight, any photos, candid or posed, are a source of unending horror. Renegade zits and bulges are tough to hide.

I've dieted my whole life, pretty much, and never taken an official "before" photo. You know, the one where you're standing there in clothing more revealing and less flattering than anything else you own, usually complete with Death Stare or sheepish grin. 

I took those photos last night. My husband took them for me. Being a seasoned photographer, he checked each one and winced after peering briefly into the window.  I suspect they are gruesome, and the idea of seeing them larger than life and in horrifying detail (thanks fancy camera) is more than I can bear right now.  So they are waiting in all their *cough* glory for me to look back at them at my leisure.

My beloved asked, "Where do you want me to put these?" and my honest response was, "In a cement bunker in an undisclosed location."  Taking them was like an out-of-body experience. The automatic sucking-in-of-the-gut is a more difficult response to avoid than I had anticipated. And the post-prandial timing, harsh lighting, and exposure of my never before seen on film tummy pretty much assures that  every bulge and ripple is documented in living color. Also, from the front, side, and back. (Oh my GOD, what was I thinking?!!!)

Before I go off the deep end and dive into the pool of self-hatred, I do have a plan. While I ate an non-ideal diet over Christmas (and gained 5 more pounds, yay!) at least I avoided the worst of it, including gluten. These pictures will show a baseline that I can return to when I am frustrated down the line. Measurements and photos don't lie the way the scale can, and I am using both to keep me honest and moving forward.  And strangely, knowing that it's over and done with and I am moving forward from this point: that it's just a benchmark- is strangely freeing.

I am moving forward with my plans to visit a naturopath: I see him on Thursday, and the acupuncturist again Wednesday. I'm right back on track with my Bulletproof coffee and 50 grams of protein at breakfast- these photos leave no room for doubt, I am leptin-resistant, and have no business IF-ing. Logging my meals on Sparkpeople (tracking protien and carbs, not calories) is oddly satisfying. My daily walk with Sir Grok and the dogs is something I look forward to, and I am enjoying the prospect of leafing through my new Paleo cookbooks and hitting Trader Joe's today. My new Fitbit will be arriving on Wednesday. It's a strange feeling, but we're moving forward!

It's all downhill from here!

Bok-bok-bok-bok-bok!!!!

Progress is good. And I feel like I am making some. For example: I stopped being a chicken and got back on the scale.

There is actually some method to my madness. You see, at some point this summer, I got so very tired of "only maintaining" my initial 15 lb. loss after starting my Primal journey over two years ago, that I decided to try HCG. I was encouraged in this by my acupuncturist, who declared that losing weight could only help me, but that I was in no case to do any kind of heavy exercise. CrossFit and any kind of core work were strictly verboten. The only things that got past his radar? Cycling- my bike is out of commission. Swimming: No access to a pool. So that left walking and ballroom dancing. "No Zumba! No Bellydancing!" Crap.

Because of course, I can't seem to lose weight. HCG helped at first, but of course, it was only temporary. I actually tried to do more than one round, and I was eating 500 calories a day, and not losing weight. Once I began eating normally, I gained back the 20 lbs I had managed to lose, in three months. 


I know that because, as I said before, I got back on the scale. Right before Christmas is not the ideal time to start tightening up my diet, but I did. And a few magical things happened. 

1. My BulletProof Coffee habit seems to be helping me. When my acupuncturist checked my pulse, he declared it (and the color of my tongue, which he also monitors- I know it's weird) to be "Much Improved". Score.

2. I started eating a huge serving of protein and fat first thing in the morning- starting last Tuesday. My body temperature, which is always worryingly low and not constant, has shot up into the normal range and seemingly stabilized for the last three days. This is huge for me.

3. I realized how much "crap" has snuck back into my diet: Dark chocolate covered almonds, too many potatoes, and a ton of dairy- if I want to be optimally healthy, I have no business eating those things. So I am tracking carbs, and sticking as close to 25 a day as I can (never over 50).

So, it seems to be working: I even managed to make it though the company Christmas party without ging off the wagon. Now I just need to make it through Christmas!!

Bullet Proof

Wonder Woman with a spear: WIN!

   I know I have talked about this before, but I have been eating Primally for...at least a year and a half, now. I love all the benefits that it has given me, but one major one that I have been lacking would be weight loss. I see all kinds of testimonials from people who lost 10 lbs the first month. I think I have maybe lost 15 in the last year and a half. And I am not someone who is agonizing over getting down to 5% bodyfat, I am someone who would really like to get out of the "obese" category

So I have been dabbling. I am experimenting right now- with the holidays, establishing a routine is a nightmare, but I really want to be dialed in for 2012. I had a shelf of diet books that have been added to the give away/charity pile- They are not something I need in my life anymore. My Primal and Paleo Cookbooks are on my kitchen counter, and the more mainstream ones are up in that unreachable storage on top of the cabinets. My Christmas list is made, and it's hilariously, all cooking gadgets.

In my search- to dabble or tweak within the existing realm of Primal eating- I ran across a few references to BulletProof Coffee.  I sort of disregarded them at first, mainly because my acupuncturist says that coffee is unilaterally bad, and that I have no business drinking it. OK. So, I cut out caffeine, except for a brief patch this summer, where I was drinking iced Americanos with heavy cream every morning. Ironically, while I was doing this, my acupuncturist felt I was "healthier"- my temperatures were higher, my pulse was stronger, things like that.

Eventually though, I felt so guilty about my secret coffee consumption, I decided I had better behave myself. So I quit my coffee habit cold turkey- a nightmare week of migraines and caffeine withdrawal convinced me that having a daily coffee habit was a mistake I never wanted to repeat again. It wasn't until I had a frank discussion with my acupuncturist this week, and he said, "Look, you seem to be regressing- what are you doing differently?" that I started thinking about it, and the only variable I could come up with was  that I had cut out coffee.

Also, when reviewing Jack Kruse's Leptin Prescription criteria, I realized that I was making a few major mistakes: I was usually just not eating breakfast. When I did, it was usually a green smoothie, which was delicious and technically made with healthy ingredients, but was also in no way the "low-carb, high protein and fat" breakfast he recommends for people trying to speed up weight loss. I mean, that suckers got a date AND a banana in it. When I did have a big bacon and egg breakfast, it usually meant I had been up for awhile, so I wasn't eating ASAP after waking up, either- something else that is supposed to be vital.

Now, I don't know about you, but frying up some eggs and bacon first thing after I wake up is not something that appeals to me. I suppose I could keep making frittatas and keeping them on hand, but as the weather gets colder, I really want something warm, and a microwaved frittata doesn't sound too fabulous. So I guess that when I encountered Bulletproof Coffee yet again in the comments on MDA yesterday, I thought- "OK, this may be what I am looking for. So what if it sounds crazy to put unsalted butter in your morning coffee?"

"I'm BULLETPROOF, beeeyotch!!!"

We used the coffee we had on hand, which is relatively high quality, although possibly not completely kosher according to the standards listed on the website. LG set the auto timer on the coffee maker last night, and I scurried out this morning to get unsalted Kerrygold from Trader Joe's.

I followed the instructions to the letter, and...Bulletproof Coffee, where have you been all my life?! I have never drunk a cup of coffee that fast. I am experiencing the side effects he discusses, which is to crave more, but I am definitely not hungry, I have a ton of energy, and I feel like I can leap tall buildings in a single bound. I am already looking forward to tomorrow's Bulletproof breakfast. And if the acupuncturist reports on any positive changes at my next appointment, I will 'fess up.